kristiapplesauce

40 plus

James 1:27 says:

"Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world."

So one of the children's villages we support is under construction. They are having a major overhaul on the main building and so the kids are being shuffled from one room to another while the building crew fixes up the house. The house mom called Daniel the other day and told him that the contractor was getting ready to put some toxic whatever down on the floor and that she along with all the kids needed to move out so they could treat the floor. She was in tears as she called my husband because they had nowhere to go. So right now Daniel has 40 kids living in the house. Who knows how long that will last, but when I called to talk to him he told me the reasons why and I was like..."dang". I was ashamed as one of my first thoughts were not of "right on...they can stay as long as they like....bring on the marshmallows". Rather I thought about the mess and crazy. Daniel however quoted this verse and said if ever there was a time of orphans in their distress it would be now -as they are being "kicked out" of their home and needing a safe place to stay.

I love my Groom and am so thankful for his Godly example to me.

Monday Prayer

Got prayers? Leave them here and all will be covered in Love.

Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 It only took 10 hours but three states, not bad. 
It was kind of weird and wonderful to think and sing and pray and drive by myself as usually I share drive time with my groom.
Sadly, he was not 1 mile away.
But I had an awesome time figuring some things out and I hope as I drive back tomorrow I will have another interesting time to sift through some thoughts that have been storing up.

contrasts

Cruel Choices
By Dr. Michael Johnson

I open the refrigerator and think, I can choose either to treat this child for malaria, or put butter on my bread. The other alternative is to fix this man's fractured hip, or have another slice of yesterday's pizza, with antacids. Decisions, decisions, decisions! What can I do with so many choices? Such are the challenges for a modern day missionary surgeon in one of Africa's most prosperous urban centers.

Nairobi continues to be a place of contrasts in class and culture. As I am wondering what kind of ice cream topping I want, there are children waiting for me to decide how much, what type and when we will provide porridge for them. In my clinic at Saint Mary's Hospital the choices are even more cruel. I have to decide who gets help and who has to…suffer. Cruel choices come daily.

I only have a specific amount of money allocated to treat the 'medically indigent' (a politically correct term for those who must choose meals over medicines). If I fix that man's hip, I won't have enough in the account to treat the child's malaria. The man has had a painful ride with his hip broken in two pieces, on the typical 'public-means' of transportation, a matatu (a van manufactured for six to eight people, but carrying 12 people). The child has had fevers, seizures and his mother is confused by the delay of the long clinic lines…and of course she has no money.

"Make that chocolate topping with the little sprinkles, please."

My real problem is there are literally millions of people (probably 38 of the almost 40 million in Kenya), who have to decide which child to feed and which one to treat and which one to let die.

There is an insurance plan for the poor. The acronym is DEUWFOHMTMC ('Don't Eat Until We Find Out How Much The Medicine Costs’) plan. With that thought in mind, I close my refrigerator and think, "Who was it that said; 'I was hungry and you did not feed me, naked and you did not clothe me, in prison and you did not visit me?' If I think long enough about this child with malaria, it won't be a matter of treating the sick it will be, 'I was dead and you would not even bury me.' That's right. Money for life insurance is better spent on those who still have life.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. What can a modern day missionary surgeon do with so many cruel choices?

Mathew 25:45, Then shall he answer them, saying, “Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye did it not unto one of these least, ye did it not unto me.”

The long version....

When I started this friendship thing with Cathi, Mandy and Tam a funny thing transpired. I fell into friendship love. Not the kind of love that is described by words like nice or kind although these girls are friendly and displayed those qualities…but they for me were something else. They were fierce and timely. They were intense and healthy in a way that was more then I desired. I know I am going to lack when I describe this…but as I spent time with these women I discovered that since they all three came into my life after I trekked to the mission field, they didn’t know the previous me and all the baggage that comes with. Not that all those experiences aren’t valid or important and not that we didn’t talk about that stuff…but they weren’t tainted or worried about my failures the way I was…they just loved me. The weekend wasn’t about being entertained or about doing stuff together…in reflection our few days together…we barely “did” anything. But we spend solid time discovering and talking all about one another and about God. What a treat. All of these women are in love with their Grooms in a way that makes me want to honor my man more. They encouraged me to put my marriage first. They taught me new ways to seek God before ministry and to put my family second. We shared funny moments and we shared ways to be a better friend to our communities. I think what made me most excited was that each girl although not perfect by any means was seeking how to be “healthy” in her life in her relationships and in her marriage. It was like in my life because so much of it is extreme one way or another I struggle to find the middle…these girls are centered and seem to be more balanced and comfortable and I like that. I like that a lot. I am so thankful for the opportunity to share even a moment with them. So thanks girls. Thank you for teaching me so much and for welcoming me into your lives. I am honored.

Conflict earrings

I bought these at the airport when I was getting ready to fly back to America 3 weeks ago. This is how I felt. This is how I still feel. "In conflict". I am torn between these two crazy worlds of extreme and I have no idea how to reconcile it. As I sat down to write this post, I am at Panera because I needed to find a place that I could just blow through the 140 emails that have been piling up and actually get some work done and the two middle aged men who are sitting next to me are for some reason talking about money and getting out of debt. The one guy just said "Poverty is only in peoples minds." Yeah...I  actually laughed out loud. I AM IN CONFLICT on this side of the world. I am in conflict as people struggle to figure out the national bailout thing. I know I am supposed to be sympathetic to all of that, but really I have been surrounded with people for the last year and a half with people who have been dying of starvation so when they talk about money on this side of the world, all I see are peoples wii 's and fifteen pairs of tennis shoes I am in conflict to figure out who I am supposed to be for everyone and I am in conflict how to explain that I really don't care about what is on TV because we don't own one and I am in conflict because I don't know how to use my "English" words anymore and I feel like a complete moron all the time when people say things about what is happening and I don't know what they are talking about and I miss my husband and I can't do anything to help him today as he was stuck with the engine on the truck blown up but pray and again I feel all alone; I know that we are not...but seriously...dang.

Dan and the dumb car situation

So, I just talked to Daniel...expecting him to tell me he was an hour or so away from home...nope. He is a day away still. He drove 4 kids up to the Transkei this week (back to back) after the team left from up there...because the child sponsorship program needed to be ran and he was in a tow truck because you guessed it, the truck blew yet ANOTHER engine. I am not sure what is happening, but can you please please please pray for the safety of these guys to get back home and for wisdom over Daniel as he is trying to cover our jobs alone now before he joins me on this side of the world. We also need guidance to know what to do about our vehicles. That one was the Oceans truck...but since we still don't have our personal vehicle figured out (the beetle-which is the one that caught on fire) and now this....I am worried and frustrated. Thanks!

Monday Prayer

Got any prayers to give or to share? Leave them here and all will be cared for.

Two girls across

There are two amazing girls sitting across from me right now and I am listening and learning. This whole weekend has been full of that. What have you been learning lately?

Alece might could be here.

Who are these people and why are they talking to me? Mandy, Tam, Cathi and Alece keep making fun of me and for some sick reason I keep begging for more.