kristiapplesauce

Bakkie

Also known in South Africa as a "bucky" or "pick-up truck" for those who live in the USA. So we see these everywhere we go. Filled with people (like 15 adults or up to 20 kids), or stuffed with supplies. Usually stores get their deliveries via these little guys rather then using a semi truck or getting their stuff from their manufacturers...so no matter where we are or where we are going, there is a bakkie en-route. (There are about 12 people stuffed in the second picture...you can see a hand in the window if you look closely).

Speaking of the Holy One [Monday prayer]

Psalm 32:6 "Therefore let everyone who is faithful pray to You at a time that You may be found."

Isaiah 55:6 "Seek the Lord wile He may be found; call to Him wile He is near."

So I was thinking about these verses and thinking about this year of prayer and thinking about all that we have prayed for and all that God has led us through and the relationship He so desires with us and all that I have seen and experienced...and I finally get it. After 17 years of praying and seeking and loving God (okay of learning to love Him) I get that all I understand is I don't understand anything at all. God has brought me to some pretty incredible places throughout my life and I so desire more of Him now more then I have ever thought possible. I have been down the road of purposeful and deliberate sin. I have prayed the prayers of Psalm 19:12-13 and Romans 6:12-13. I never want to stray down that path again! As I try to surrender and become the woman I long to be...I am certain that we need people to back us up. We need Wingmen. Not just friends to tell us "yay, you are doing great"....but people who will stand by your side and tell you the gritty, hard truth when your sight is slightly blurred. Yup. I want that. I want the people who not only will stand in the gap, but who will speak truth and prayer step up to the call of obedience in whatever way God is calling them to. That may be different for everyone, as for me...whenever I pray for someone, it usually ends morphing into something different then what their "original prayer request" was, although I always commit to doing that too. So anywho, if you want to get in on this whole prayer thing...comment here or on the right side where it says "prayer peeps"...we would love the back up. Kthanks!

As always, if you have anything that you need prayer for - please leave it here, we will pray for you. All are welcome.

Forgive?

There is a person in my life who keeps "wronging" me. This person does things over and over again that hurts my feelings and breaks my heart. Most days I don't think about it, but then something will happen and I start to dwell and all that garbage will creep up and then "it" has me again...sin. Not theirs, but mine. Sure, I could confront them...I could pure out my heart and make my emotions known. I could tell this person how hurt and point my finger and blame them for all the mishaps. Or I could take responsibility to love them regardless of how they behave and show them my soul. One of obedience and honor. I think that sounds pretty and I think in my mind they then would respond in love back and start loving me the way I desire...but in reality I know it doesn't usually work that way and right now all I really want to do is rant and rave and get angry because poor me poor me. Our churches are filled with people who go on emotion and "principle" rather then follow the Bible. Me, I know that I have to take responsibility and listen and obey. Dang it....sometimes it is easier to whine. Lord, Please lead me...I am so ready to let this go. Set my eyes on you...not on my own hurt or set of rules. Release me from this person and allow me to love them whole-heartedly; what that really means to you, not to me or to them. Bind us together to glorify you Lord...not ourselves and right these wrongs that keep keeping us apart. I love you Jesus, please help me to act like it.

Weepy

Today I am feeling like I can't stand up straight. We took the tree down and as I was wrapping the ornaments and tucking them safely away, I realized that this tree is all I have to make our home "Christmas-y". Usually the day after Christmas, my Mom and I go shopping and I buy stuff on sale for the next year - wrapping paper, decorations, presents...whatever. But nope. Here - there is nothing like that. We ventured out and all the Christmas stuff is still out at the same prices that they were before Christmas. But that isn't even the "real" problem. I know that I am just feeling sorry for myself; but I miss the familiar today. I miss being near our family and I miss the "easy". I don't know why it took me a couple days to feel this way...Christmas was actually fun and Daniel made it super special...but now, a few days later, I am all weepy and sad. I wish I could go shopping with my Mom today and I wish I could go to Starbucks and get my Grande Chai and I wish I could wrap a scarf around my neck and play in the snow and I wish I could spend the rest of school break playing with my nephew and niece. I wish I wasn't so selfish and I wish I could stop crying.

Aardvark

It starts with an A,
Aardvark, Aardvark

It ends with a K,
Aardvark, Aardvark

It’s not easy to say,
Aardvark, Aardvark

But try anyway,
Aardvark, Aardvark

Eats Ants everyday,
Aardvark, Aardvark

At work and at play,
Aardvark, Aardvark

You spell it this way
With an A…
ARD….
VA….
RK…
Aardvark

- So this guy (or rather it's mom) was running across the road the other day. I love our life here. Seriously.

renewed

We are smack in the middle of summer here in S. Africa. Daniel and I, although covered from head to toe in spf 50 sunblock everyday still manage to get burnt almost daily. So yesterday while skyping to my family, my sister had on 6 layers including a sweatshirt, and me...I was wearing a tank. So in the video, I showed off my sunburn. My Mom was not impressed. She gave me a slight lecture and told me she was worried. Yay...gotta love Mom. So I was thinking about how at this point I am either in mid-burn, or mid-peel and how most of you are wrapped tightly in your scarves and coats and how really - it isn't about how hot it is here but about like in Ephesians it talks about being renewed and putting on the "new man" - that is what if feels like. Because whenever my "new skin" comes in, I wonder if that is what God would literally have us do. Rejuvenate and allow Him to remake ourselves according to His plan, rather then our own. Just a thought.....

Ephesians 4:22-24 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

"you took off your former way of life, the old man that is corrupted by deceitful desires; you are being renewed in the spirit  of your minds; you put on the new man, the one created according to God's likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth."

   

Family

This is the very first year that we haven't been with our families to celebrate. Daniel is 29 and I am 30, it is almost 5:00 pm and we have managed to get through the day. I don't really know what to think of that as this year and last have brought a lot of firsts but I never really thought that Christmas without our families would be one of them. So strange. We did however bring with us the love and traditions that we grew up with and have merged them into our own. We celebrate on Christmas eve with a picnic on the floor with cheese and crackers. We pray, and talk about the past year...talking about all that we are thankful for. It is super cool and I love that we do it. That is from his side. From mine, we do stockings. My family has always made this special. When I was little my sister Laura and I would try to wait up then we would practically try to convince my parents every hour on the hour to go check to see if Santa had arrived. This even went on way into our "past Santa years" as we were both (me more then her) excited for Christmas morning to begin. We would finally get my parents up around 3:30ish and my dad would agree that Santa had arrived. He would make a fire and mom would make hot chocolate. We would pile onto their big bed and dad would bring in the overstuffed stockings. We then would open them and play with all the stuff inside. They never had to be expensive or elaborate gifts inside but as we have gotten older they kind of evolved into that. Underwear, yo-yos, incense, stationary, candy, nail polish, stickers....all stuff that gets jammed into the infamous stockings. Yay. So then after an hour or so of that, we would then go get situated in the living room and one by one open up gifts under the tree. I guess the wonderful and sad part of this day is that Daniel has made this special and I fear that it is now "normal" that we are now doing things apart from how things have always been and I am okay with it. I know that none of what we are doing here would be possible apart from the love and encouragement and support and guidance from our families back home. They are an integral and essential component of every single day and I so fear that I am loosing part of where I came from or who I am by these monumental days of being away from the people I love most.

Friends

My whole life my Mom had taken my sister and I to craft fairs...Art in the park (fart in the park) and I loved seeing all the fabulous hand made wonderfuls people had made. I love hand made anything actually. My favorite though was the quilts. I love love love hand made quilts. I would always look forward to the granny walk of fame where they would all showcase their talent. So I don't know why I never just bought or had one made...but I would always put my name in for the drawing (for a buck) but never won one. Dang it. I guess it's one of those things in my head that it has to be a gift...a hand made quilt. You can't ask for one because it would ruin the sweetness and the beauty of it. At least in my mind. Did I mention how mesmerized and captivated I have been by hand-made quilts? For like years....? Anyways so like a year ago a lady from Kansas City started sending quilts here to pass out to the orphans...you can see and read about some of them here, and when she did my heart swelled because I longed for somebody to send or make me one...for like years and years that has been a desire. But I can't be sad, they were for the orphans...so when we went back to the States last September, the day before we left, I got a package in the mail from a lady in our small group from our home church. Up till now I hadn't told anybody my obsession with quilts or any of this story...low and behold she had made us this quilt and on the back was a patch that said: "Small group friends in Christ made especially for Daniel and Kristi" and then has all their names and the date. So all that to say....

I could say a million things in this post about how people have stood by us and how there is an army of people who have made this year and last a "success" by way of support and love...by sending emails, letters, care packages, phone calls...standing in the gap. Some even flew across the country to be a friend. Some pray, some encourage by coming on a team, some give, some spend time. I could name all the people by name and I know I would miss some but to all, I am thankful. This quilt kind of sums it up for me though. Not because it means more, but because it represents how God uses people to love and encourage us for this amazing journey. So thank you.

What I see

People ask me ALL THE TIME what South Africa is like. I get that question in emails I get that question in letters or in person when I go back to the States and speak at churches or in schools...I never really know what to say because South Africa is well, South Africa, and you can't really sum it up in a sentence but I think people like it wrapped up like "oh, it is nice; we like it there". Maybe I am mistaken but what I do know is it is nothing like anything that I could have ever ever ever imagined. It is messy and it is love. It is life and it is death. It is home. God is here and He is absent in every single person I meet. So to try to answer those questions I am going to start posting "what I see" posts and start describing life here at least through my eyes. Hopefully it will help sort out what some of the everythings that we go through on a daily basis on this side of the ocean.

For the first one:

This girl I saw hanging out in this doorway...she could be any girl in any doorway as we pass countless children everywhere we go. She is probably an orphan though because she is one in one of our day care centers. She doesn't sleep there, but comes in the morning and stays all day. She receives 2 meals one of those being soup. Although she looks pretty healthy, don't be fooled. Her belly is round and full because she is most likely suffering from worms.  We are working now at getting these kids in a deworming program...

Monday Prayer

When I was a Sophomore in high school for whatever reason I felt that I needed to start a "prayer group" at my house. So I made some signs and told the youth group. I had no idea what it was going to look like or why I felt such a need but this was pressing and so one Monday at 7:30 pm I was ready...cricket, cricket...nothing. So I sat in my room and prayed by myself for however long. For about a month or maybe even longer I did this every Monday because I "felt" God was calling me to pray. Pray for my friends, pray for my family, pray for my teachers...pray for the people at school. Whoever. I think my family thought I was crazy. Then one night a couple of people showed up and was like "So what do we do?" . I didn't know. Up till then it was just me. I hadn't led anybody in prayer really, all I knew was that God had led me to start this thing. So I sat us all in a circle and we prayed for whatever. I am pretty sure it was mostly me though because everyone felt stupid. Me included. But whatever. So fast-forward a year and a half or two years and there was close to 40 people (kids and sometimes adults) meeting in our front room for prayer group. We were praying for our friends, we were praying for healing, we were praying for ourselves and our future...we were praying because that is what God was calling us to do. Now, it is no different. I am 30 - not that 16 year old kid and it is again Monday, and I am still praying. Praying for my friends, praying for healing, praying for my family and for the leaders around me. Praying for whatever and whomever comes in and out of my life. So what is God calling you to right now? How can we partner with you in prayer? I have seen miracle after miracle in this whole prayer journey. I have experienced heartache and misunderstanding. I have cried and laughed as God spoke truth and guidance in ways I would have never thought possible. I have been convicted and I have have heard in my heart "well done"...but I know for certain I would have never experienced any of those things if I wasn't in communication with the Holy One. So today if you are in need of somebody to pray with or for you...please know that you are welcome here and you will be prayed for all week long or beyond if necessary.