Mandisa

The dirt was gritty....like it wasn't dirt at all. More like gravel or the stuff people use to make cement. Today we had the funeral for one of the ladies in the support groups. Her name was Mandisa and I wept. I wept not only for her, but for all of the people we have lost along the way. As I was listening to the women bellow out their beautiful song unto the Lord, I prayed. I prayed for Motherwell, I prayed for the people at the funeral, I prayed for this woman's children and family. I prayed for South Africa. I prayed that AIDS would stop killing everyone. As I was praying it was like everything became silent. Even though I could still hear the ladies sing a-cappella, my ears were quiet. All of a sudden I was super aware of the ladies behind me and of their beautiful flowing skirts and how they were blowing all around me - it was like I was being wrapped up in them. I felt the gravel underneath my feet and in my nose. Everyone was covered in the dust as the wind kept blowing all around us. I saw several men throughout the cemetery digging other graves at different sites. One man was sitting on a mound about 200 feet away. I wondered if he was listening to the song the ladies were singing or to the silence I heard in my ears. Mandisa's little boy managed to scramble away from the woman who was holding him and crawled into his dad's arms. He was about five feet away from me and I thought of widowed fathers all over the world and how alone they must feel and I prayed for support and love. I prayed that this baby would grow up knowing God and that this dad would have wisdom and knowledge to love his children unconditionally. When the funeral was done and they lowered her into the ground, the men picked up the shovels and all began to forcefully push and dump the rocks and gravel on top of the casket. It was abrupt and alarming but somehow beautiful.They were finished in less then 10 minutes. As the ground became level and the headstone was put in place some were still singing, others were leaving, but I just stood there. Where else would I be? This is our home. This is our South Africa.

Comments

[melanie-pearl]

love the imagery, even if it is sad. beautiful post here. got all caught up in it. thanks for sharing.

[Maureen]

Beautiful (not the event, but your writing of it). I will never forget my first African funeral and how it impacted my life. Keep on sister!!! You are a blessing to be a blessing!

[MOM]

I could almost feel the wind blowing and hear the singing. I too am praying for the African people, the children of Mandisa, the daddy of Mandisa's children. I am praying for you as well, for your sorrow at the loss of all that have passed before your eyes. I pray God protects your heart from too much pain. I know you are serving an Awesome God. Love you

[Crystal Renaud]

i know that words can't truly comfort or change reality... but i love you and am continuing to pray for you all.