kristiapplesauce

Blog friend, shmog friend.

When they first arrived, their kids were kind of tired (from the 11 hour drive, I'm sure) so it didn't surprise me or make me nervous when Silas announced he wanted to go back to his house (he is 3). But it did make me wonder and hope for the best as we settled into conversation and unpacked the car for the week. I thought, "our house is kinda small...so I hope we all get along". It also crossed my mind for a brief second..."I hope they don't kill us in the middle of the night, ha ha" (nervous laughter) - as it always sort of does whenever I meet a blog friend for real life.

But then right away, they were fabulous. We had already talked a few times on the phone and we have been blogging and emailing for a while, so this friendship was holding before they even got here - but when they did, it just sealed the deal. Right away we were at the beach, we were taking walks, we were drinking coffee, we were talking, we were playing outside with their babies, we were napping, we were laughing, we were trying to cook, we were doing life. 

This season has been strange for us. Daniel and I have been praying and worrying, thinking about our life and why we don't have what we did in the States; friends I mean. And we have realized that life isn't supposed to mean or look like what we so desire...but rather what God does. And if we are wrapped up, tied up, sealed and surrendered in all that the Holy One has for us...then what the honk is there for us to complain about? Seriously? Nothing. We have so many amazing things to be thankful for and this season of friendship and love and tenderness I think is just the beginning of seeing things with our eyes wide open.

So thank you David and Amy. Thank you for coming and loving us. Thank you for sharing your heart and ministry with us. Thank you for driving a million miles with your two toddlers to get to the beach us. Thank you for your friendship and wisdom. Thank you for laughing and for just being.Thank you for being an example of Godly parenting.

I was more comfortable with you this week then I have been with myself in quite a long while. I am excited to see where our friendship leads us. So thank you!

Anticipation

I don't even remember how it started...but ever since I can remember- whenever a flight took off the runway, I would lift my feet off the "ground" and wait for take off. I would anticipate the rush and be so excited for that lift - that loose your stomach feeling; that whoosh...where you know you are lifted into the air. 

So last week I was talking to my dear friend about parenting and life and she said something so profound. She talked about not getting ahead of yourself; about her son - she said " Instead of waiting for Silas to express his needs and then allowing myself to respond to them… I was always stressed out frantically trying to anticipate his needs and meet them before they became actual needs. My husband helped me chill out- and to realize how healthy it is for someone to be able to have a need, express it, and then have it met.  In me always trying to anticipate his needs… I missed so many moments of just enjoying him.  I was always trying to be 10 steps ahead of him instead of right with him.

So as she was speaking, I realized that although I don't have children - her wisdom totally applies to me. I have been (this whole time) jumping 5, 10, 20, 100 steps ahead of God. Not waiting for Him to necessarily speak into my life, but trying to be ahead of the game. Trying to anticipate and judge and maneuver...rather then allow Him to move and speak into my life - then obey and submit to His desires. I need to respond to Him. I need to relax and enjoy the Father; basking in my relationship with Him...not over-analyzing or trying to control it. I need to be in the moment and not 10 steps ahead or behind. Waiting on Him to lead.

 

Here I am Lord, I will wait on you.

Ad astra per aspera

You can read her side of the story here. Mine though is this: 

I guess it would have been 3 or so years ago that I wrote about going to the Rolling Stones concert for free on my blog. Melanie saw my post and realized that we were both living in Wichita (at the time). She commented and asked if I would like to meet. I was semi new to blogging and thought it would be cool to meet her. Daniel was a little worried and said we should meet in a public place in case she was a serial killer or something. She didn't end up killing me and we ended up becoming fast friends.

This past weekend her and some friends came up to Kansas City to participate in the Run for Mercy (our biggest fund raiser) and while there, she gifted me with this necklace. Melanie is the most fantastic artist I have ever met. I am so inspired by her. So the necklace says "Ad astra per aspera" which means "To the stars through difficulty" then below it - it references Daniel 12:3..."Those who are wise will shine like the bright expanse of the heavens,and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever."

My friends are freakin rock stars and I am so thankful. I am not only thankful for her friendship and the love that she has brought into my life. But also thankful for the way she leads by example and how she sacrificed a chunk out of her weekend to love and serve the kids in South Africa for a better life. What an incredible way to live. I am constantly amazed at the people who stream in and out of my life and who would have thunk that some girl would have commented on my random blog a few years ago, and now we are connected by so much more then coffee and tears.

Amazing.

The long version....

When I started this friendship thing with Cathi, Mandy and Tam a funny thing transpired. I fell into friendship love. Not the kind of love that is described by words like nice or kind although these girls are friendly and displayed those qualities…but they for me were something else. They were fierce and timely. They were intense and healthy in a way that was more then I desired. I know I am going to lack when I describe this…but as I spent time with these women I discovered that since they all three came into my life after I trekked to the mission field, they didn’t know the previous me and all the baggage that comes with. Not that all those experiences aren’t valid or important and not that we didn’t talk about that stuff…but they weren’t tainted or worried about my failures the way I was…they just loved me. The weekend wasn’t about being entertained or about doing stuff together…in reflection our few days together…we barely “did” anything. But we spend solid time discovering and talking all about one another and about God. What a treat. All of these women are in love with their Grooms in a way that makes me want to honor my man more. They encouraged me to put my marriage first. They taught me new ways to seek God before ministry and to put my family second. We shared funny moments and we shared ways to be a better friend to our communities. I think what made me most excited was that each girl although not perfect by any means was seeking how to be “healthy” in her life in her relationships and in her marriage. It was like in my life because so much of it is extreme one way or another I struggle to find the middle…these girls are centered and seem to be more balanced and comfortable and I like that. I like that a lot. I am so thankful for the opportunity to share even a moment with them. So thanks girls. Thank you for teaching me so much and for welcoming me into your lives. I am honored.

Alece might could be here.

Who are these people and why are they talking to me? Mandy, Tam, Cathi and Alece keep making fun of me and for some sick reason I keep begging for more.

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