kristiapplesauce

Growing your own

While updating some of the peeps in the CSP, we ask all kinds of questions that aren't necessarily on the form we bring with us, depending on what "situation" we walk into and what we see when we meet the family.

Like..."How are you managing your family of 10 on R700($92)per month?? Or if I see lots of electronics or "fancy" food in the home, I ask where they got it because sometimes families have several relatives staying with them and those people may not have access to any of those things but those people are still expected to stay in their home - so we try to get an accurate account of whats going on, so that we know or can best assess if these families are the very best (the most needy) to receive the food.

Anyways, so the other day I was doing updates and this woman was outside over a bucket of laundry when we pulled up. She was bending over her wash with no line to dry them...so I assume when she was done - she was going to dry her clothes along the wire fence or the bushes that separated her house from the neighbors.

She smiled her toothless smile and waved us in.

As I was going through my paperwork with her, she kept smiling and doing her best to understand what I was asking. She and her husband are taking care of their children along with her sisters kids, because her and her brother in law have both passed away. One of the top questions on the worksheet asks the names and birth dates of the kids. She of course knew all of them. This is fabulous because for whatever reason - we have found in the villages, so many people have to show us the birth certificates to answer this question...the people simply do not know the birth dates of their children or grandchildren or whosoever kids they are caring for...this woman knew. She was again smiling, when she went through each one. When I got to the question of provision and making sure they had what they needed, she said they also managed with a garden.

We heart gardens! So when we were finished, we circled around back and sure enough she had maybe a 4X4 garden and it was beautiful. She beamed. She probably thought we were nuts, praising her for such an effort...but we did. We celebrated her accomplishment.

Nozake (Community Care Worker) then bent down in the dirt and showed her how to separate the seedlings and how to make more grow from the bunches she had started. I was amazed.

I love how we are all connected and I love how this woman is just trying to make it. Just like you. Just like me.

We are all the same.

Shake it.

The last few days we were up in the Wild Coast (aka the Transkei) and while there, we visited Mama Christina. She is a woman who oversees one of our day care centers/CSP up there. Anywho, we dropped off a big fat new stove for the ladies and you would have thought we gave them gold. They started dancing and celebrating. It was fabulous! I love happy days when other people are just as happy as you to feed hungry kids. Seriously.

Judgement - wisdom - discernment

We have been doing all of the updates for the CSP in Motherwell and will continue through out the coming weeks until we visit all of the families who represent the 177 of of the 365 that Oceans feeds every month with your help...

In doing so it is always an eye opening experience. I have to hold in a lot of my prejudices and a lot of my "Americanisms" as I still don't quite understand some of the decisions and choices people have made to get to "this point" in their lives; their children's lives. But what I have decided as I walk in their homes and shake their hands, is that it isn't up to me at all. I realize that God has given us this task, yes...but really it has nothing to do with me at all. I wasn't born here, as a Xhosa woman. I was born far away in a distant land (to them) and I have to pay close attention to that detail. So as a person trying to help starving people, we have to tread lightly not to overwhelm and change the culture or people...but rather bring love and truth. That is it. That is my job.

I fight that though because this week I have been faced with many people blatantly lying to me - desperate to keep their food parcel even when they no longer are eligible (child has turned 18; has moved out, or they are now working and make enough money to support their family)...have also encountered many people begging me to add other families onto our infamous list so they too can benefit from our "endless food". This too is a burden for me because I know they don't realize that we have to find sponsors for them and have to be good stewards with those resources. I also ran into men and woman too sick or too disoriented to understand the process at all.

Oceans of Mercy is not a "welfare" organization. We are a non-denominational Christian organization dedicated to providing Hope, Life and Love by meeting the needs of people regardless of their race, religion, gender, socio-economic status or physical disability.

With that being said, I interviewed a woman who was picking up a food parcel for the last two months for her child who is living with a severe birth defect. I got all the way through her interview...giving her all kinds of information and resources...the interview asks questions like "How many times is the child eating a day?; What are the child's hobbies?;  What does your child most enjoy doing with their time?" Finally when we were about to leave and we needed to take an updated photo, I asked when her child would be returning from school, she said "Later in the month".  I then changed my questions into "Where does your child stay?" She could tell my demeanor had changed and shifted all of her previous answers (she started lying) and then answered my other question with "My child lives with me". I asked "Where is your child now?" She said "at school". I asked if they stayed at school, she said "yes". I then asked what kind of school it was. She said it was "A school for children with disabilities". I asked her if her child ate there. She said "yes". I then asked her the question that sealed the deal...."Who ate the food she picked up from our program?" She said "Her child did". I asked her if she kept the food at her house. She said "yes"...so to sum up this whole drama she ended up admitting that her child was actually not getting the food because they "technically" did not live at her home but lived at the school. She was eating the food, as well as the 5 or 6 other people who live there with her (not her kids). At first, I was fuming. But as I quickly thought through the whole situation, I felt very differently and my frustration changed to heartache.

I have never been hungry in my life. Ever. My parents have always fed me. Probably a little too much. When I was hungry, there was food. A snack? Yup...there was always plenty. Christmas cookies? Yup, we gave those out to people...when food went bad, we threw it out...we always had an abundance of food. Here, this woman didn't. She thought it better to continue with the program to feed herself then to tell us her child wasn't living there because her survival was essential. But I had to tell her that this of course was "stealing" and not how Oceans of Mercy operates. I had to explain that we feed kids and focus on keeping children alive. She no longer is eligible to pick up the food parcel so we will no longer be continuing our relationship with her family. It again broke my heart.

It always comes down why we are here. We feed kids and try our hardest to keep them alive. There are so many other things that Oceans does...but it all comes down to obedience and surrender and Daniel and I are trying our hardest to have wisdom and discernment to do what is right.

"Everybody"

This whole week we have been updating and revamping the Child Sponsorship Program in Motherwell (a local township) that holds over 170 of the 365 children that Oceans sponsors in SA. We are taking new pictures and making sure the kids are still at the correct addresses...seeing if there has been any changes in the family (births, deaths, illnesses, ect.). Sometimes the caretakers continue to pick up the food even if it is unnecessary for them to do so - so home visits help us assess the situation for that as well (new jobs, kids turning 18, relinquishing custody) so we are visiting all of those children and I am able to do training for the Community Care Workers as well.

Most of the time it is good though and I am able to spend solid time with these families and encourage them on their quest to keep their families fed and whole. One of which was this lady. She was a little older and welcomed us into her home when we arrived. She answered my questions and was patient as my Xhosa is still very weak...as we used a translator. When I read back her answers and finally said, "Okay, so you have 10 people living in your house and R2,370 coming in ($237 - Government assistance plus one person is sponsoring her Granddaughter in our CSP) that means that you must go hungry by the end of the month." She said "yes" and hung her head slightly.

I then asked her why all those people lived there because 6 of them are under 18 and only the one is her orphaned granddaughter (meaning none are related to her). She said very loudly - in English this time...."Because all of Motherwell have died of HIV, so I take care of them!" The tears started to well and I thanked her for her service. I finished out my questionnaire and then had her sign...when I noticed her signature, it wasn't a name at all, but rather an "x" because she couldn't sign her own name.

When I left her home the tears streamed down my cheeks freely and I knew that I just left the presence of a remarkable woman.

Buckets - part two

Even though yesterday rocked and even though I love feeding kids; the day was bittersweet. Almost every time we go to Motherwell (the township where we do most of the ministry in Port Elizabeth) we are bombarded with people asking, or demanding us to help them. Some people are actually pretty aggressive. This isn't unexpected because as long as we have been here (close to two years) we haven't seen any other people or programs helping people in this area. PEOPLE ARE STARVING TO DEATH. There is no help, no food, no medicine, no hope. So no wonder they ask and beg and do what they can to get their basic needs met. So when we do the CSP (each one is different, but this particular one we meet up with the families at the grocery store where they pick up the food for the month) we have at least 30 people or more ask or tell us to put them on the list (we carry clipboards with the list of people sponsored). So then yesterday as we were hauling in buckets filled with extra goodies for the sponsored families all of the other people at the store were all there watching. Many stopped and asked us for food. Even the people working at the store have now started telling us their stories and why we must help them. "Give me a bucket, give me a bucket" I heard over and over again. It made my stomach hurt. So then we started the day, processing the families through and checking them off our list and as we did - one lady came through the line and she wasn't on the list. Occasionally this happens and we then double check to see if there was a discrepancy in our paperwork; if her sponsor had stopped sending in money; if her child passed away (yes, families still come, trying to collect the food); whatever...and nope - She wasn't on the list. So I then looked at her and asked why she was there. The whole time I just assumed she lost or forgot her ID (we assign ID cards - kind of like drivers licenses to every family so we know they are with us)...and she looked back at me with that hollow "I am starving, please help me look" and said something like "I thought you could help so I stood in this line". Even though at that point I was frustrated and emotionally drained from all the people telling me to give them a bucket, this woman broke my heart and I had to tell her that we couldn't help. I know that sounds harsh...but we first of all  don't give food out to adults...Oceans of Mercy is an agency who works really hard at providing hope, life and love to orphans and vulnerable children...it is a by product that the family benefits (if they have a family), we try mostly to help those kids because they are the neediest and most neglected. And secondly and more importantly we only have enough money for the kids who are sponsored.

Buckets - Part one

If you look in the left hand corner of this blog you may have noticed that every day or so I change the picture and name of a kid. Those are the kids currently sponsored in the Child Sponsorship Program, here in South Africa through Oceans of Mercy. So I go and change the picture just to keep them running in the back of peoples minds to generate awareness, sponsorship,  and hopefully prayer of what is happening  out here. We are a growing ministry with 365 kids currently being fed through this program. Yay. So yesterday we took buckets filled with extra food for these families for the kids who are sponsored in the one in Motherwell, a local township. That particular one has 124 families. Daniel and I got to go shopping, then make up the buckets, then take the buckets to the CSP (where the families meet us at the local grocery store to pick up their monthly allotment of food) and be Santa for the day as we passed out their gifts of "fancy food" as they called it. Seriously...it was a fabulous day. So if you are already sponsoring a kid, this is what you gave them for Christmas. Last month we passed out school shoes. For reals, I love my "job"...

Bad, bad girl

This little perfection is Trinity aka Esther Lindiway so I was holding her on my lap yesterday and she was sitting up and playing and laughing and all the wonderful things that babies do and I had to get up for something (I don’t even know for what) and so I sat her down on the floor and plop! She fell over because she can’t actually sit by herself just yet and hit her head on the ground. Dang. She was totally fine. Started laughing and blowing bubbles when I picked her up again.  She didn’t even cry. Her mom totally fired me though for not being a good aunty. But in my defense I blamed Trinity for being a bad baby…she should have known better.

Isaiah

Please pray for Isaiah...just got a call asking for prayer. He is super sick with a high fever. Thank you so much!

And this is why we are here.

We just updated 71 kids who are currently in our Child Sponsorship Program and even though they are already in the system, we still ask questions to see if anything has changed, or just to get a basic update. One of the questions asks: "History and reason why the child is in the orphanage or needs the sponsorship, Please be as specific as possible." These are the reasons that were given for the ones we updated....

Alcohol abuse in the home, mother unable to look after, child abuse, alcohol abuse, mother unable to look after the child, alcohol abuse, alcohol abuse, alcohol abuse, alcohol abuse at home, mother murdered when child was 9 years old, mother murdered when child was 8 years old, mother murdered when child was 8 years old, abandoned at 2 months, abandoned in toilet when 2 months old, abandoned, abandoned, abandoned, mother too ill, abandoned in field since 2 months old, abandoned, child abuse, child abuse, child abuse, child abuse, mother ill, mother walks 6 km(s)back and forth to work and lives in 1 room with child, alcohol problem, alcohol abuse, alcohol abuse, alcohol abuse, child abandoned, alcohol abuse, child abandoned, abandoned, alcohol abuse, alcohol abuse,  parents poor,fetal alcohol syndrome, mother ill, mother ill, alcohol abuse, child abandoned, child abandoned, mother has drinking problem, alcohol abuse, mother ill, alcohol abuse, abandoned, child neglect, neglected and abused, alcohol abuse, mother unable to look after child and they were neglected, abandoned, child abandoned, alcohol abuse, alcohol abuse at home, child neglect, drinking alcohol, abandoned, street child abandoned, child abandoned, alcohol problem, alcohol abuse, alcohol problem, mother ill, alcohol abuse in home, alcohol abuse, mother alcoholic, child abuse, child neglect, mother abandoned him when he was 3 years.

Back home!!

You know when you are driving down your street you look for the familiar landmarks like that old tree at the end of the block or the house with the blue door? I don't know when it happened, but somewhere in the last year we have transitioned from visiting here, being a guest...to making this our home. When we were driving back this morning I was day dreaming about all the everythings that transcended over the past few days and all the new things I saw and learned and then all of a sudden we were on our street and I was happy. I was looking for the pets and the familiar cars; the houses and the number of houses to get to our driveway and all of a sudden we were home. Thank you for your prayers for getting us there and back. You rock.