kristiapplesauce

and this is what happened...her name is Safari

So since our dumb dog jumps our meter and a half fence - we were racking our brains to figure out what to do to remedy the situation because we can't keep fixing our fence or building it higher and higher (which is what we have been doing). So since Major (the dog) always runs away to the neighbors house (with the dogs) to play, we thought it might be a good idea to give her a play mate. I was thinking maybe one that could be a more mature dog...as to help guard our home and persons (since hello! We live in South Africa and it is known here to NOT be the most safe place to be). But this one is Daniel's dog and he was going to pick and name it. This my friends is what he chose. We don't really know what she is...as the humane society didn't really have a history other then tell us she was 8 weeks old and likes to snuggle. Yeah...so much for a guard dog. Major likes her though and even as I write this, Safari (Daniel's picked name) is sleeping on my lap. So that is the latest news.

Are you kidding me??

So Daniel has this man purse satchel that is way cool. He has covered it with patches (mostly from the counties we have been to) but he likes all kinds of patches - and so there was a store in the mall here that had a whole wall of them. Anywho, he went in there to find some to add to the bag but was assaulted when right there in the middle of the wall-o-patches were swastika patches too. WHAT THE?? I am not even kidding you. So Daniel made an about face and walked out the door. I know that many people make statements about this or that in life...like not supporting Disney or Coke for whatever reasons...but I know for us, we will never shop at that store for any reason again. Grrr. I hate crap like that. Seriously.

ministry bla bla

Okay for those of you us you who work in full or part time ministry as your profession...ie you get paid for it or you raise support to do it (missionaries)...how do you let it go at the end of the day? My dear and wonderful friend asked me today how many hours and days a week we spend working and I will not post my answer here, but it was even surprising and sad when Dan and I came to our conclusion. We then started talking about how to relax and how best to serve God...I seriously doubt that I am doing that...with running ragged the way that we are in our current state. So I ask you, how do we do it? How do you do it? How do you let go, especially for me, when the stakes now are so freakin high? Dang...one more thing to take to the Cross. Please kindly leave your suggestions in the comment section provided. Thank you.

When did that happen?

All of a sudden Daniel and I are having people over for dinner with our grown up friends and they are actually listening to what we are saying and not discarding it as some lame-o whatever that "some kid" said. Okay maybe they are...but they keep coming back for it if they are. And then we are in meetings and for some reason we are somehow kind of leading them. We start off with prayer and then go through our notes...with people older then us. They seem to follow and we all come to an agreement....I wouldn't think twice of this, except we are making decisions that are in essence changing peoples everyday lives. What the heck?  So I ask you, when did it happen? When did my friends start having families of their own, and start buying houses and cars and having meetings and soccer games for their 8 year olds? Because I realized this morning that all of a sudden I am a grown up.

Going deeper, and deeper, and deeper still.

What if I am not supposed to? Like what if all this loneliness is for a purpose. Like you know when you straighten your hair and straighten your hair for years and then one day you are like oh, I will just wear it curly and you get like a million compliments? Because you embrace what God has given you? I wonder if that is what is happening.Like I need to start embracing rather then feeling sorry for myself. God gave us this position and gifted us with the talents to be here...so duh. I know that I am made for relationships...so that will always be a battle for me...but seriously, I need to stop worrying about what I don't have and start embracing what I do. God is faithful and like Paul in prison and shipwrecked and beaten and and and. He was content. Hurt, and sad and hungry at times...but wrapped up in God and his relationship with Christ the WHOLE time.

The little things

So I just got in the mail a handful of magazines from America...and you wouldn't think that would be a big deal because after all why do we (any of us) need to be reading that celebrity trash anyways? But for me it makes me feel NORMAL. Normal. Normal. Yes, magazines from America makes a girl that doesn't have access to them feel normal. Just like nail polish. The team 2 weeks ago brought at least 10 new colors for me to switch out on my 10 fingers and 10 toes...and my family just sent 7 new pairs of earrings. SEVEN. So now my ears get a little bling (as opposed to the 2 I was wearing). I know that those things may sound a little excessive; I am sorry for that...But when you are in the parched land of no Target or no Kohl's (no garage sales for Pete's sake!) there is very little option to get the little things that you grew up with...the things that make you "feel" like a part of the society that you no longer live. Those little things that I once took for granted. So thank you ladies for bringing or sending the things that make me feel like I am not an alien. I of course could live without these little luxuries...but you made it so I wouldn't have to. I am so thankful.

Grave site.

Today we went to the Motherwell cemetery. I have been there several times before, but for some reason today it was super hard to process (the enormity of it). Our friend Joel and his dad Steve are visiting and they went along and we prayed and wondered through the many grave markers. One head stone had fallen over and Joel picked it up and placed it neatly back in its proper place. I thought to myself at the time if it was necessary for him to do that, or if anybody other then us would have even noticed. But it made such a huge impact on me. I keep thinking about that lady under the dirt. She was somebody's somebody. I also think about when the day will come when we are at that cemetery for a funeral for somebody we know personally. I dread that day. Already that place holds so many. It is said that it is less then 20 years old and holds more people then Arlington National Cemetery. Days like these make me completely aware of why we are here and makes me wonder who else God is going to send to stand in the gap for the people of Africa.

I don't really believe this...but I am working on it

"I am an awesome spirit being of magnificent worth as a person

I am deeply loved of God
I am fully pleasing to God
I am totally accepted by God
I am absolutely complete in Christ;

And when my person is expressed through my performance, the reflection is dynamically unique...there never has been another like me in the history of mankind, nor will there ever be, I am an original, one of a kind. Really somebody, and so are you. "

Becky and Schaun gave this card out to the team the last night they were here. I battle daily with insecure thoughts and who I am in Christ. Who I am in ministry. Who I am as a wife and daughter, sister, friend. Really...all relationships I am in. So I just keep reading this and wonder if it is real and hope that someday it will burn inside of me as "true".

Tuesday morning

obedience, sacrifice, praise, forgiveness, anger, projection, joy, destruction, control, love, peace, blame, deliverance, frustration,tender, normal? rejection, hate, honor, submission,salvation, patience, amazement, wonder, glory, intimacy, fear, thanksgiving.

Who is the president again?

Last night we got into a heated debate on politics and other things (my uncle is so smart about what is happening in the world) and as we we were talking about all of that, my mind started to wonder. Over this past week, we have been catching up on all things news and since we don't have a TV and hello! aren't living in the US...we don't have access to the everyday happenings from home. We have had several debates/talks about all of our ideas on all the stuff going on. Who is running for president, the war, The View, sports, whatever. Just general la la stuff. But when we were talking politics, (since that is a heated subject)...I was engaged, but then felt like I glazed over. Not that-that stuff isn't so very important, and that we (believers) shouldn't be on top of that, and shouldn't be involved...but that in this world that Daniel and I have chosen to live in; it doesn't really matter. Okay, to double back OF COURSE IT MATTERS AND WE WILL BE VOTING AND ARE PROUD TO BE AMERICAN but in this world of holding peoples hands and praying with them before they die and feeding hungry kids...I just don't really care any more who the freaking candidates are and who is causing drama on television. My priorities have shifted. I am not saying that everyone needs to think this way. But I do feel an urgency to say that something, anything, whatever it is that God is calling you to needs to be urgent to you. I do not believe that you have to move to Africa to change the world. But I do believe that you need to live in surrender...something that I struggle with every single day of this life.We were talking over dinner and I was amazed at how gifted and talented my family is and how much we (all of us)doubt our importance in the Kingdom. Then I started thinking about how that is how most of us live. We are all so doubtful and insecure. Why is that? And then there is me. I feel like such a freak. Like I can't even communicate anymore. Normal conversation and community is lost on me now. The easy, stupid conversations about nothing is so hard for me. I can't even engage in that anymore. Maybe I can, and have somehow forgotten. I don't know. But for me, the simple isn't so simple. I think that, that is part of the price I have had to pay. The reality is-is that for my whole life never have I had people around me die. Never. I think that I have lived in a bubble. Not that in anyway shape or form is that a bad thing. I love the life my parents have given me. I am so thankful. But I am now here. And here, different rules apply. My life is more serious and I have shifted. When I meet my Maker I so long to hear the words "Well done, good and faithful..." I just hope that I don't alienate everyone along the way.