kristiapplesauce

out of air.

When we got to the hospital, we checked in with nurses station and said “hi” to all of the patients as we passed by their beds. Most of the people there were all sharing a room – 17 or 18 to a room. A sink at the end of the hall and a rest room to share without a toilet seat; somebody had stolen it long ago. You have to bring your own paper as well. Most people go without though.

We get to Ntombeyi’s room and to my surprise she is in a private room to herself. I thought this was great until I realized she was abandoned in there and wasn’t being checked on at all. So we came in and started taking care of her. Mama Nozake and Mama Jane lifted her body and head so she could breathe better and gave her a glass of water. They adjusted her bed and clothes to bath her. We washed her face and I showed them how to massage her body with Vaseline. We rubbed her feet, hands and face. She cried out in pain several times and couldn’t breathe at all. By this time the nurses were alerted to us being there and came in to check on why we were in the room. I asked what her diagnoses was and Nozake told me she was in the final stages of AIDS but what brought her into the “free hospital” was that she had a tubal pregnancy and lost the baby at 7 months. This was 3 days ago.

When the nurses came in we asked them about the medicine on the side table and they told us they were her ARV’s and she was responsible to have taken them at 8:00 that morning. It was now 3:30 pm. This woman couldn’t even move her head let alone manage to take the pills that were set on her side table. We told them how essential it was that she never miss a dose and I suggested they give it to her now they said they would then have to give it to her again at 3:30 am and they didn’t want to do that so they threw those pills away and said they would give her some more at 8:00 PM that night.

I then asked for them to turn on the oxygen because she was struggling to get air and the nurse said that since the ward she was in wasn’t a medical ward they were going to have to move her if she was to get oxygen. So they moved her to another floor – and to a big room where she then shared a hall with 18 other people. I was thankful that they moved her though because with the new ward came new bedding and she was able to get out of the old that had blood and urine stains.

The new nurse gave her oxygen, changed her bedding, got her settled….all this took place within an hour because then we were asked to leave because visiting hour was over. We all kissed her and I took her hand and told her I loved her and that I would be back.

 

The next day I got a phone call from Mama Nozake that she had passed away at 10:00 am.

Vaccine???

A world first: Vaccine helps prevent HIV infection

BANGKOK – For the first time, an experimental vaccine has prevented infection with the AIDS virus, a watershed event in the deadly epidemic and a surprising result. Recent failures led many scientists to think such a vaccine might never be possible.

The World Health Organization and the U.N. agency UNAIDS said the results "instilled new hope" in the field of HIV vaccine research.

The vaccine — a combination of two previously unsuccessful vaccines — cut the risk of becoming infected with HIV by more than 31 percent in the world's largest AIDS vaccine trial of more than 16,000 volunteers in Thailand, researchers announced Thursday in Bangkok.

Even though the benefit is modest, "it's the first evidence that we could have a safe and effective preventive vaccine," Col. Jerome Kim told The Associated Press. He helped lead the study for the U.S. Army, which sponsored it with the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.

The institute's director, Dr. Anthony Fauci, warned that this is "not the end of the road," but said he was surprised and very pleased by the outcome.

"It gives me cautious optimism about the possibility of improving this result" and developing a more effective AIDS vaccine, Fauci said. "This is something that we can do."

The Thailand Ministry of Public Health conducted the study, which used strains of HIV common in Thailand. Whether such a vaccine would work against other strains in the U.S., Africa or elsewhere in the world is unknown, scientists stressed.

Even a marginally helpful vaccine could have a big impact. Every day, 7,500 people worldwide are newly infected with HIV; 2 million died of AIDS in 2007, UNAIDS estimates.

"Today marks a historic milestone," said Mitchell Warren, executive director of the AIDS Vaccine Advocacy Coalition, an international group that has worked toward developing a vaccine.

"It will take time and resources to fully analyze and understand the data, but there is little doubt that this finding will energize and redirect the AIDS vaccine field," he said in a statement.

The study tested the two-vaccine combination in a "prime-boost" approach, in which the first one primes the immune system to attack HIV and the second one strengthens the response.

They are ALVAC, from Sanofi Pasteur, the vaccine division of French drugmaker Sanofi-Aventis; and AIDSVAX, originally developed by VaxGen Inc. and now held by Global Solutions for Infectious Diseases, a nonprofit founded by some former VaxGen employees.

ALVAC uses canarypox, a bird virus altered so it can't cause human disease, to ferry synthetic versions of three HIV genes into the body. AIDSVAX contains a genetically engineered version of a protein on HIV's surface. The vaccines are not made from whole virus — dead or alive — and cannot cause HIV.

Neither vaccine in the study prevented HIV infection when tested individually in earlier trials, and dozens of scientists had called the new one futile when it began in 2003.

"I really didn't have high hopes at all that we would see a positive result," Fauci confessed.

The results proved the skeptics wrong.

"The combination is stronger than each of the individual members," said the Army's Kim, a physician who manages the Army's HIV vaccine program.

The study tested the combo in HIV-negative Thai men and women aged 18 to 30 at average risk of becoming infected. Half received four "priming" doses of ALVAC and two "boost" doses of AIDSVAX over six months. The others received dummy shots. No one knew who got what until the study ended.

Thanad Yomha, a 33-year-old electrician from southeastern Thailand, said he didn't expect anything in return for volunteering for the project.

"I did this for others," Thanad said. "It's for the next generation."

All were given condoms, counseling and treatment for any sexually transmitted infections, and were tested every six months for HIV. Any who became infected were given free treatment with antiviral medicines.

Participants were followed for three years after vaccination ended.

The results: New infections occurred in 51 of the 8,197 given vaccine and in 74 of the 8,198 who received dummy shots. That worked out to a 31 percent lower risk of infection for the vaccine group. Two of the infected participants who received the placebo died.

The vaccine had no effect on levels of HIV in the blood for those who did become infected. That had been another goal of the study — seeing whether the vaccine could limit damage to the immune system and help keep infected people from developing full-blown AIDS.

That result is "one of the most important and intriguing findings of this trial," Fauci said. It suggests that the signs scientists have been using to gauge whether a vaccine was actually giving protection may not be valid.

"It is conceivable that we haven't even identified yet" what really shows immunity, which is both "important and humbling" after decades of vaccine research, Fauci said.

Details of the $105 million study will be given at a vaccine conference in Paris in October.

This is the third big vaccine trial since 1983, when HIV was identified as the cause of AIDS. In 2007, Merck & Co. stopped a study of its experimental vaccine after seeing it did not prevent HIV infection. Later analysis suggested the vaccine might even raise the risk of infection in certain men. The vaccine itself did not cause infection.

In 2003, AIDSVAX flunked two large trials — the first late-stage tests of any AIDS vaccine at the time.

It is unclear whether vaccine makers will seek to license the two-vaccine combo in Thailand. Before the trial began, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration said other studies would be needed before the vaccine could be considered for U.S. licensing.

"This is a world first which proves that vaccine development is possible," said Dr. Supachai Rerks-Ngarm, the Thai Health Ministry official who oversaw the trial. "But this is not to the level where we can license or manufacture the vaccine yet."

Mass-producing the vaccine, plus how to proceed with future studies, will be discussed among the governments, study sponsors and companies involved in the trial, Kim said. Scientists want to know how long protection will last, whether booster shots will be needed, and whether the vaccine helps prevent infection in gay men and injection drug users, since it was tested mostly in heterosexuals in the Thai trial.

The study was done in Thailand because U.S. Army scientists did pivotal research in that country when the AIDS epidemic emerged there, isolating virus strains and providing genetic information on them to vaccine makers. The Thai government also strongly supported the idea of doing the study.

___

Associated Press Medical Writer Marilynn Marchione reported from Minneapolis.

long division

You know those moments in a conversation where something suddenly or not so suddenly happens and you don't know where to look or what to say but you are for whatever reason unable to turn away from whatever is happening in the situation?

So the other day at the HIV/AIDS support group we were passing out the food and since there wasn't enough money to buy a bag of potatoes for everyone we had to buy only half as many so the ladies had to divide them - giving half a bag to each family. I was humbled and horrified - knowing that this conundrum had never happened to me before, also understanding that once the potatoes reached each persons home - they would be required to stretch even further to feed the children, the grannies...however many other people are living in the homes. Everyone is expected to share. We also handed out porridge, rice, beans and soup. I prayed over the ladies - that this food would sustain them as they divide and stretch the food to make it last.

I have never been hungry in my life.

*Oceans of Mercy doesn't usually give money towards feeding adults. All of our programs (like the soup clubs and CSP) make it so we can help as many families as possible by helping them feed their kids - but we don't have money "at the end" for the adults usually because all of it goes towards the children. So when we got involved with the support groups and realized they were starving and dying of HIV/AIDS and their families needed assistance as well - so we figured out that if we bought vouchers at the grocery store instead of paying with a credit card every time we re-stocked the soup clubs or ran the CSP then we would get a 3% discount - so that in turn sometimes ends up being 1700 Rand or around $228 for 60 people each month.

Leadership, Willow Creek, AIDS

So I don't know if any of you are going to or have been to any of the Willow Creek Association leadership summits ever - but they rock. Every year they give out a courageous leadership award...this award is a partnership between Willow Creek Association and World Vision, and was created to honor churches who are actively engaged in the fight against AIDS.

So Westside Family Church in Shawnee, Kansas is where Pastor Schaun Colins (Oceans of Mercy founder and director) is the Missions Pastor. And so this year this is what they had to say....

Courageous Leadership Award

Westside Family Church in Lenexa, KS has been honored with the “Courageous Leadership Award” for its care of people afflicted by AIDS across the globe. Willow Creek Association and World Vision provide this recognition to churches that have uniquely resourced communities devastated by HIV-AIDS.

The award recognizes Westside as a large church in the US that has made a distinctive impact on battling the HIV-AIDS pandemic. “This award honors churches doing their best to bring assistance to the wholistic needs of under-resourced communities around the world suffering the devastating affects of HIV-AIDS.”

Westside Family Church does its work in South Africa, Thailand, and India to prevent HIV-AIDS and to care for HIV-AIDS orphans and those suffering from the disease. Since 2002 dozens of mission teams and hundreds of Westside members have traveled overseas to serve and equip indigenous leaders and partners serving these communities. The church’s on-ground efforts include HIV-AIDS education, soup kitchens, children’s homes, community health and hospice care, and micro-finance projects. Westside’s unique approach supports local community leaders, and encourages partnerships with other churches and agencies.

Westside’s work overseas is motivated by their passion for justice, mercy, and the love of God.

In response, Westside’s Outreach Pastor Schaun Colin said, “We are honored at be recognized, grateful for the chance to serve these beautiful people, and excited to partner with others to make a real difference in our world.”

Judge's Comments: "Westside Family Church has leveraged their influence and released huge amounts of resources to bring help and Christ to some of the poorest communities in the world. Their long-term plan (to provide justice, mercy and a relationship with God to people affected by the pandemic) is evident in everything they do, not only on the mission field but also here in the states. Their commitment to providing holistic care and empowering indigenous people is making an impact and providing a replicable model that the judges hope will inspire many churches to engage."

Willow from Westside Family Church on Vimeo.

vitamins.

South Africa's government official/unofficial stance on this whole anti-retroviral treatment thing is this: The free clinics give out the drugs to the people (who latest statistics are saying 1 in 5) to people whose CD4 count is below 200.This means that people have to officially be in AIDS to receive any real treatment here to start getting better. What is REALLY happening in the free clinics is that there aren't enough drugs or people or money to administer the drugs...so now they are making the people wait until their CD4 count hits 50 before they are eligible to receive treatment.That means people are close to death before they can receive any sort of help. People are now not only suffering because they are starving and have no where to live...but they are now being forced to go without medical treatment for something that the government has for so long ignored.

We realized early on that we couldn't get ahold of the HIV-AIDS drugs...that was beyond our scope or understanding. None of us over here are doctors or nurses, and we don't have the connections to get the drugs even if we were - so we started with what we know. We know food and we have the availability to get donations (with every team that comes over). So we brought over generic multi-daily vitamins. We started a gritty hospice program - feeding the hungry, basic first aid, and distributing the daily multi-vitamins (like the kind from target or wal-mart). The people within the support groups started thriving. Even without ARVS the people are finding their numbers are actually rebounding because of the community, basic health care, love and nutrition. Who knew?

So now we have partnered with some amazing churches and individuals who send over (with teams usually) daily multi-vitamins for adults and children (who are in Oceans' different programs) and the most recent was with Wallula Christian Church. They support us in so many ways already (prayer, encouragement, financially) but when they called and asked us how their Vacation Bible School kids could support what is happening out here we immediately said "vitamins"!! They sent over 3 suitcases full. Those kids brought in their pennies and change throughout the week that paid for the vitamins that then made their way over here. So thank you Wallula!! You are changing the world!

Mandisa

The dirt was gritty....like it wasn't dirt at all. More like gravel or the stuff people use to make cement. Today we had the funeral for one of the ladies in the support groups. Her name was Mandisa and I wept. I wept not only for her, but for all of the people we have lost along the way. As I was listening to the women bellow out their beautiful song unto the Lord, I prayed. I prayed for Motherwell, I prayed for the people at the funeral, I prayed for this woman's children and family. I prayed for South Africa. I prayed that AIDS would stop killing everyone. As I was praying it was like everything became silent. Even though I could still hear the ladies sing a-cappella, my ears were quiet. All of a sudden I was super aware of the ladies behind me and of their beautiful flowing skirts and how they were blowing all around me - it was like I was being wrapped up in them. I felt the gravel underneath my feet and in my nose. Everyone was covered in the dust as the wind kept blowing all around us. I saw several men throughout the cemetery digging other graves at different sites. One man was sitting on a mound about 200 feet away. I wondered if he was listening to the song the ladies were singing or to the silence I heard in my ears. Mandisa's little boy managed to scramble away from the woman who was holding him and crawled into his dad's arms. He was about five feet away from me and I thought of widowed fathers all over the world and how alone they must feel and I prayed for support and love. I prayed that this baby would grow up knowing God and that this dad would have wisdom and knowledge to love his children unconditionally. When the funeral was done and they lowered her into the ground, the men picked up the shovels and all began to forcefully push and dump the rocks and gravel on top of the casket. It was abrupt and alarming but somehow beautiful.They were finished in less then 10 minutes. As the ground became level and the headstone was put in place some were still singing, others were leaving, but I just stood there. Where else would I be? This is our home. This is our South Africa.

What does "support" mean to you?

One of the great big things "support" has come to mean to me while living in South Africa is by way of the ladies in the townships. They have come together and started support groups for themselves and also for the family, friends and now children of those living with or being effected by HIV/AIDS. They are some of the most giving, talented, bright, loving, selfless people I have ever met. I am honored every single moment I get to spend with them. They are excited about life and they share it well.

A lady I met in a group last week was sharing her story and said that she found out she was HIV after her husband had died. She received his positive test result in the mail two weeks after he had died in the free clinic. Nobody knew what he had died from at the time of his death, so she went and had her and her daughter tested after the notice in the mail. Both were positive. He was unfaithful and brought this disease into their home. Her daughter passed away a year later. She is now on ARVs and since she is in one of our support groups - she receives daily multi-vitamins and has access to the community garden they have started.

So when I hear "support" the first thing I think of is the support groups. I think of woman (and some men) coming together to make sense of life. I think of a community of people who stand together to make a healthier, better future for their children. I see an amazing group of people trying to survive and making the most out of every single day. I think of people who are united in a cause that absolutely doesn't make sense, but is there none the less. They don't place blame, rather they love with their whole hearts. I think of people who I want to be like and who I try to understand. I hope that when all is said and done I can contribute even a fraction of what they have invested into me.

The next day

Yesterday I received the news that a lady in one of our support groups passed away. So this morning I trekked out to her home to see about her two babies. She has a 4 month old and a 2 year old. I would like to say that this "job" is foreign to me and that I have not a clue what to do in these situations...but nope. I do. I know where to go, and what to do. I am comfortable talking to the peeps in the shack town and I am comfortable asking the tough questions like "Are you able to care for this child?" or "Are you going to make sure this food gets to the children, because this food is for them, not for you!?" Even though I know it is offensive and rude.

The Xhosa families are expected to take in orphaned children if you are related to the one who passed away. The only family we could find was the aunt of the lady who died. She was already caring for her husband who was in a wheel chair due to a stroke, so I didn't know how she could manage a baby. So I was asking her questions about feeding the baby and other things like diapers and where she would care for him. She went on to say that the baby was eating rice cereal since 1 month of age. We know by the World Heath Organization that babies are better to eat/drink other food besides breast milk but she told me today that he was drinking breast milk AND this cereal since that time. I was so frustrated because I had talked to the mother about his tender stomach and that switching back and forth increased his chances of transmitting HIV. So these are the things I was re-training the ladies on this morning...on top of trying to figure out where he would stay and how to grow him to adulthood. The older brother was at the boyfriends parents house...so he was "taken care of" they told me. We should find out for sure later this week if he is okay.

None of this "seems" like it is any of my business, but we have found out from previous situations that if we don't get involved these kids are left to wonder or fend for themselves. So we get involved. We try to take care of those who can't take care of themselves. I know that every single orphan in South Africa or Motherwell or Port Elizabeth isn't "my" problem - but seriously, if God is prompting me - I am moving. How many times in my life have I stood there and done nothing?

Too many.

The most important thing

Last Easter we had a team visiting during spring break and while here we showed them all the soup clubs and places we minister. One of them is the shack-town behind one of the townships that we spend a lot of our time in Port Elizabeth. While there, one of the ladies on the team met a lady who lives there and upon further conversation discovered she was pretty sick. We started visiting her pretty regularly after the team left and she ended up joining one of our support groups that Nozake runs. Her little boy was able to get sponsored through the Child Sponsorship Program and we have been able to help their family with vitamins and other donations through the different programs that Oceans offers. So we have been building this relationship for a year now. I don't know why certain relationships are more important to me then others, but they are. It isn't like I "know - know" all the people in our programs, because really, with the language barrier - I don't really  get to know them at all, and really, I don't think they know me very well ...but I try to love them and I have to release them to the Lord...if not, I think I will go crazy but anyways, this afternoon I got a phone call after we got home from the CSP from the township that the lady had died. I don't know all the details because it is unsafe for us to go to the townships after dark but we will go first thing in the morning and see what we can do for this family. Again, my heart is broken. For her, for me, for South Africa, for Motherwell and the toll AIDS has taken on this community.

Today I had responded to a friend after she had asked me in an email how my day was going and I had just got the message the lady had died; I said: "This is pretty familiar to me now, but every single time it knocks me back on my butt and I am left wondering again if we did all we could to love and show Christ. I always know the answer and it makes me crazy to say that it is a big fat 'NO'. Of course not, because there is always more that I could have shared or done or said or gave."

I know that we are here and that we are trying to love people and walk beside them and figure it out, but in my heart of hearts, I could have done so much more to share Christ and so once again I have failed. I hope that tomorrow I listen more closely to hear and pay attention to where I can love people more so when the opportunity presents itself, I won't be too busy or too distracted or too whatever. The reality of our situation is that people are dying every single day and that is not to be taken lightly.

Won't you please pray for South Africa today?

one in five

The newest statistics states that one in five South African adults are infected with HIV/AIDS. Infected NOT affected.

Last week we had a few people visiting and we took them to a cemetery that a few of our friends are buried in and it is staggering to see this fairly new cemetery grow and grow even in the short time we have lived here. It goes on for miles and miles. Every time we drive by it seems like they are adding on or knocking down something to make the cemetery larger. It is gigantic already, I can't imagine what it will look like in 5 years.

Anyways, while we were there, there were some men digging new graves with picks, no shovels were seen and we were talking about how hard it must be to work like that and we couldn't help but think that one of them was in essence digging their own. I wonder how many more will have to be dug before we are all forgotten in this grave yard of a country.