kristiapplesauce

dirty love

We were in this village up on the side of the mountain, updating kids in the CSP and as the kids were filtering in one by one this one baby was wondering in and out of the room. I asked who he was and who he belonged to. He only had a dirty shirt that looked and smelled like it hadn't been washed - ever. He looked about 2 but was the size of a 1 year old. His eyes were blank. No diaper, no love, limbs were limp. He was lethargic and empty. I scooped him up in my arms and kissed his face. I was told his mom had died last week and that his grandma was struggling to know what to do. She didn't have the resources to take care of herself let alone this baby and his older brother  - who were now her responsibility. I stripped him of his shirt and cleaned it. It took me several minutes to get the mud and dirt out and for the water to run clean. It never returned to the white it was supposed to be. We found a diaper and I called Daniel to get some clothes; he was in town getting supplies.

I keep thinking about this kid. It didn't really take much for us to love him. All it took was about an hour of my day. It took maybe $12 for 3 pairs of clothes and some shoes. It took about 6 minutes for me to wash his dirty white sleeper shirt and a little scramble to find a diaper. It took nothing for me to scoop him up in my arms and hug and kiss him. It took a little courage and strength not to holler and act like a lunatic towards the Grandma - demanding a reason why she wasn't taking better care of these kids....but then again she just lost her daughter, and I know she herself is battling hunger and possible disease and who knows what else in this village and now she is expected to raise these two kids. So yeah...I don't blame her for not knowing what to do.

So yeah. Love so many times comes crazy hard for me. I battle and fight. I don't know what to do. I find reasons and make excuses because I am busy busy busy. But God is so much more then our lame attempts at trying to be important and I am pretty certain all he wants is our hearts and this day I felt as close to Him as I have ever felt in my life. I know I didn't change this kids life or make any significant difference, but I listened and I loved. I loved this kid and I understood better how God loves me.

I hope today you (and me) are loving those we are meant to love. I am hopeful for it. Aren't you??

Under where?

So when my mom was here last year she noticed that some of the kids here weren't wearing any underware...why? Well, because when it comes to survival - food is usually more important. So now she is kind of on a crusade to send them over. Whenever they are on sale or when she sees them at garage sales - she stocks up. They then come over with teams or when we go back to the States, there is always a pile for us to haul back.

We also got some little boy undies from some new friends we met who live here. So it was a good day last week when we got to pass out some new underpants to some fabulous kids who needed them.

Yay for underware!! If you want to get in on the underware action, comment or email me.

 

We're coming to America!

Wallula Christian Church ROCKS! They are one of our amazing supporters and we love them a lot. Here is a video we made for them - thanking them for supporting us and for the love they give to one of the Soup clubs.

We are coming back to the States in early February. So it is that time again to set up church, small group and Starbucks dates. If you are interested in meeting with us to hear all that is happening in our part of South Africa or would like us to make a fun video for you - we would love to!

So if you want to know more and might want to partner with us and the amazing South Africans we know and love - please email me or leave a comment here and we can set up a date for while we are in the States.

Christmas in the Transkei

I heart Christmas in South Africa!!

We just got back from our 4 day trip to the Transkei - where we distributed Christmas parcels to all the Soup Club Mama's and also visited Project Samuel in the rural village of Selini. Mama Christina runs a day care center* there and we celebrated Christmas with her and all the kids. It was so much fun. We braiied/BBQed 150 hot dogs, had cold drinks (pop) and biscuits (crackers). We also gave all her volunteers a Christmas parcel as well.

For their gifts - Oceans (through the Child Sponsorship Program) gave the center athletic equipment, coloring books, new tables and chairs, and a bunch of new supplies for the kitchen where they serve all those kids everyday. Yay for Christmas!

*A day care center is a "safe place" where kids come in the morning to get breakfast and then go to school. This particular one has a pre-school on one side so the small ones stay there while the bigger kids walk some times up to 5K to school. In the afternoons they come back and have lunch (on the other side) and do homework and play. They stay until dark. Most kids in this community don't have anywhere else "safe" to go so they come here for food and community. They come here for love. Mama Christina was ministering to these kids well before we met her, and now her ministry has exploded. She and her army of volunteers are caring for over 100 kids/babies every day. The government is limiting and putting rules on orphanages and children homes, so we have found that these "day care centers" are the way we can effectively care for the needs of so many kids in the communities.

Her journey

My amazing South African friend Renee' wrote this about her trip here. She came on a team and this is what she wrote of her experience:

So many have been asking, so here it is...I'm finding it really hard to tell people just how much my trip to South Africa meant to me and how much it touched my life. It seems to me that to get it, one would need to have been there to feel it, touch it, smell it and live it, so I'm not sure that writing about it is going to really fully explain what this amazing experience did for me...

I finally, after a long, long time, got to come back home and it touched me on so many different levels. I was really nervous about going home not just as a visitor this time but also to serve. Before I left I was dealing with some guilt, embarrassment and feelings of shame because I knew I would be coming face to face with some deeply buried issues. I had grown up a "privileged white child" during apartheid and even though there was not much I could have done to change the way things were while I was so young, I lived during that time and that in and of itself made me part of the problem. I wonder why we never thought to question the system. Why we didn’t think to affect change. Why we allowed such behavior from our government and yet never stepped in to fix it.

Anyway, I waded through all the difficult personal stuff during the first several days and then I jumped in and immersed myself in the moments and there was so much joy and such a sweet letting go and the pain I felt at the sadness and hopelessness I saw around me was quickly replaced by little girls who held my face between their hands as they planted sweet kisses right on my lips! Beautiful big brown eyes filled with hope because strangers from a faraway place would come to their dirt packed yards and into their confusing, complicated lives just to love them. My heart was warmed by dirty little boy-hands snaking their way into my coat pockets and asking me to keep their little homemade toys safe. I loved sharing the food right off my plate with kids who sometimes don’t get to eat some days because there just isn’t any food or a mother to fix it.

I don't think I can adequately express the tumultuous emotions I experienced while in the company of these beautiful children. From sadness and hopelessness, to overwhelming joy… From babies found in dumpsters to precious little boys with HIV...we loved these kids and hugged these kids, held these kids and cried with these kids. We ladled soup into anything that would hold it, giving them the only meal they had for the day and watched them sing their grace with eyes tightly shut and sheer joy on their faces. We spent time with Mamas who are caring for way too many children in far too little space and we listened to village elders try to understand the horrors of AIDS with the shadow it’s casting over a whole generation. How does one get them to understand that the horror of it will not be washed away in the shower, or cured with a diet of vegetables or by sleeping with a virgin? They will not save their sons and daughters or their grandchildren if they continue to ignore the 3-letter plague that is claiming a life every 60 seconds, in their country.

I fell in love all over again with the country I was raised in. It's so beautiful, and returning after so many years I once again understand the intangible tug that Africa seems to have on the hearts of those who have both lived there and visited. It is so rich in culture and the people are all so beautiful. I made connections with new friends...sweet Afrikaans guys and girls and Xhosa college students that I’ve fallen in love with, all who are pouring their young lives into building relationships with the unwanted and unloved of South Africa. Sleeping in shacks and huts with the people they're serving ~ they have challenged and inspired me with their unfailing faith in God's amazing grace. I’m in awe of the HIV+ Mamas that are caring unconditionally for children not their own, the HIV+ children who want to be held close so they can feel a mother's touch, soaking up attention that is not threatening and violent...Their open faces and heart-stopping smiles inviting me into their lives. I held kids who were pulled out of dumpsters as babies, girls who had been raped, a beautiful little 5 year old boy with open lesions. All these kids yearning for the love of a God who created them in His own image...I wish you could hear them sing, their faces raised to the Son as they belt out their prayers in Xhosa harmony that brought me to tears every time I heard them. What an amazing miracle these children are...and the future of this floundering country.

I was given an incredible experience ~ a gift. I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am to have been able to empty myself and still miraculously come home with a full, full heart.

~R

Here are some amazing links you have to check out...

http://www.callhermama.com/
Sponsoring a child in South Africa: http://www.onelifechild.org/
Oceans of Mercy website: http://www.oceansofmercy.com

Oceans of Mercy Banquet

When Daniel and I were trying to figure out our situation with who or where or when we were going to the mission field - Oceans came into view and we were hooked. One of the spectacular things about Oceans of Mercy is that they (we) don't take money from the kids for administration. Not that we don't have administration fees (paper, gas for our cars, phone, computer....) and not that we don't struggle to find where the money comes from, but when people donate towards the Child Sponsorship Program - or towards Soup Clubs or towards any of the other programs - 100% of that money goes towards those kids and then we do other fund raisers to help the ministry run. Even the money we need to stay here in South Africa - Daniel and I are responsible to go to churches and to meet with family and friends to raise funding because Ocean's money goes towards the kids. All that money is invested into the children. How amazing is that? So if you are interested in Oceans of Mercy (or want to learn a little more) and live in the Kansas City area and want an amazing night out with some cool people and some great food - please come!

 

Agee's

Tomorrow I know that our situation in South Africa will shift yet again and I can't wait! We will go to the airport at 9:00 pm and pick up some amazing, beautiful, talented, gifted, loving, strong, smart, fun, fabulous, trusting people. They are coming here to serve with us for 2-5 years and we can't wait! Please pray for them and for their journey across the world.

Home

Daniel and I were away from home for 3 weeks. We usually don't announce our plans to be away for so long because it isn't safe to tell everyone that you will be gone/away from your house for that amount of time (yes, please come break into our home; we will be away from it for X amount of days and so please come steal all our stuff!!). This time was a little crazy because we were not only gone from home for so long but also away from each other for the first half of it. I don't know if it is because we heart one another or if it is because we (me) are so dang dependent  but it was super difficult to function away from my man. He is such an important part of my life that I found it hard to make solid decisions away from him. I was also discouraged and lonely. I totally had the support and backing from my friends who were wonderful and so so generous as I stayed with them for the first 10 days; but it wasn't the same as being with my husband - the leader and protector of our family.

As the days unfolded and as I worked and did what I was there to do (updating the Child Sponsorship Program, working with support groups, doing Soup Club stuff), I realized that Daniel is the one who makes all that stuff function. He knows all the people at all those locations; he has spreadsheets to make it easier for us to understand and organize what goes where. He understands and manages the dynamics/politics of the whatevers we run into...bla bla bla. He knows and runs everything. I just get to go along for the ride. I love the ride. I love the people and the kids and I love the joy of passing out food. I do not love the work behind it and that is why Daniel makes such an amazing leader because he takes care of all the details. He makes it seems easy. He invites you along and makes it an adventure. I missed him the whole time because although it was still a privilege to be doing all that I was doing - I wasn't doing it with my best friend -my heart ached the whole time we were apart.

When we finally did manage to find one another, we were hosting another team (he was already with one) so then we had that group for another 11 days. We went all over - to PE, East London, the Transkei. We did a leadership camp for some of the older kids in a couple of our children's villages and then worked with some of the Bible School kids up in one of the villages we work in. While all that was going on - Teresa (the lady who runs One Life Child) and me trained all of our Community Care Workers on some new and follow-up HIV/AIDS stuff.

In the middle of all that crazy - Teresa asked me if it would be better if we didn't run or host the teams because it causes chaos and pulls us out of our busy...I had kind of a freak out moment (imagine that) and responded with "I wouldn't trade this for anything." and it's true because with the teams - they bring love, accountability, Americanisms, presents, worship (and other God stuff), and a different kind of "home".

So yeah. I love home. I love the teams, but I also love when it's time to put them on the plane and when Daniel and I find each other again because we have made it safely back to where we are meant to be. Right here - serving the peeps in South Africa.

Support

I think that maybe support means different things to different people. Maybe it also means different things to different people depending on which life situation you are going through. 

As I was visiting one of our HIV/AIDS support groups yesterday, a neighbor of the ladies house we were at came over to borrow a cell phone because her old grandmother had just passed away. Like right at the moment and she didn't have a cell to call the police. So there we were in a shack in the middle of a township "supporting" one another and this woman was there asking for another kind of support. So Lindiwe, the leader of that support group - "borrowed her" - her cell phone, and her and I walked across the lawn to this woman's house to see if there was anything further we could do. There were a handful of woman gathered in this other home next door and they seemed to be waiting for something when we arrived. It could have been the police. It could be that they were waiting for support. It could have been that they were also waiting to see the end or it could be that they have all seen this too many times before...I don't know. So I walked in with Lindiwe and greeted them. I smiled and said my condolences. I asked after the grandmother and was trying to figure out if they had accurately determined if she had actually died or if maybe she was in a coma or something. I know that none of these woman had gone through medical training and was kind of scared that she was somehow still alive under the sheet they had her under. The small dead grandmother was in the one room shack with us on the only bed. She was covered with all the blankets in the house as far as I could tell and then her face was covered with that sheet. Nobody was crying and as I asked questions I began to explain that if they were to use this bed for sleeping or any of the bedding - it would have to be cleaned thoroughly because of what happens post mortum. They then told me that it would be hours and hours before they could move her because that is how long it takes for the police to arrive. We asked if there was anything else and then I asked if I could pray for the family. They circled around the grand and great granddaughter and I prayed. I prayed for wisdom, protection, provision, clarity, salvation, love. Then we left.

We came back to the support group and at that time they were finishing up talking about whatever it is they were talking about in our absence and so we prayed to finish up the meeting and then as they were leaving I spoke up and said "I'm sorry! No! I'm not through yet." I began by explaining that I am not Xhosa; that I don't know that much about South Africa because I am a guest in this country but I do know about death. I went on to explain that I just experienced the lady next door who no longer has the opportunity to make her life's most important decision.I said that I didn't know that woman - so she may have known Christ as her Lord but I said if she didn't - her time is finished. Done. I gently told them about Christ and how they don't know when they will die. Some it might be soon and some it might be 50 years from now...but for me, I'm not afraid of my future because I know that my whole life is wrapped up and secure in my relationship with God and that Christ is my Salvation. I went on to say that if anybody has any questions or concerns or would like to know more about this hope - then they could ask me, or Mama Nozake or Mama Lindiwe. There was some other story telling in there because when you speak here, you kinda have to talk in word pictures which suits me fine because I ramble a lot - But yeah, that was our day yesterday.

teams

There are those distinct moments in your life (my life anyways) where you have just that tunnel of clarity. Where things just come into focus and you just know that for that one moment at least you are right where you need to be.

We had a team come in last night and as Daniel and I picked them up at the airport, we said our hello’s and did our shuffle – getting people into the van and listing off what to expect in the coming week and as we were starting out, we circled for a prayer and it was like all of a sudden peace just descended upon us. It mattered not all of the prep work or all of the phone calls that need to be made. It didn’t matter what bills need to be paid or how dirty the house was when we left. It wasn’t our concern who was watching or if we were late to get to sleep because all that really mattered was that we were 7 people who came together for one purpose and that was to bring glory to God. It was amazing to stand in the presence of such incredible people…those who would sacrifice so much to come here and love and serve the men, woman and children of South Africa for however many days and as we were holding hands and praying for their week, I was in such awe that I would have the privilege of such company.

God is amazing for loving me so much.